Book Reviews: Health

THREE BOOK REVIEWS
By TOM SOTER
from MEN'S FITNESS

THE SURVIVOR PERSONALITY
WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE STRONGER, SMARTER, AND MORE SKILLFUL AT HANDLING LIFE’S DIFFICULTIES...AND HOW YOU CAN BE, TOO.
By Al Siebert. Perigee. 284 pp. $12.00.

Walt Disney could have been a failure. But he turned bad luck – an unethical employer stole his first cartoon character – into an opportunity, learning from his mistakes to create and own Mickey Mouse. So begins Al Siebert’s The Survivor Personality, a self-help page-turner that alternates dramatic real-life examples of crisis survivors – such as downed fighter pilot Scott O’Grady who made it to safety after days behind enemy lines – with useful advice for the average Joe.

Siebert, a Ph.D. who has conducted extensive survivor personality research, draws a compelling portrait of the typical survivor type: individualistic but a team player, thoughtful yet impulsive, cool in a crisis but emotional, with a solid sense of self and humor. Contradiction is the point: Siebert says all of us have the capacity to be survivors by breaking away from dangerous typecasting (“I’m pessimistic, he’s optimistic”) to tap into whatever trait is needed. Flexibility increases “survivability by allowing a person to be one way or its opposite in any situation...Having a variety of available responses is crucial when handling variable, unpredictable, chaotic, or changing conditions.”

Siebert offers many practical guidelines – in dealing with angry people, for instance, he suggests listening, asking clarifying questions, and finding areas of agreement – but also warns that his book is only a tool to help understand why some survive better than others; since no two situations or people are exactly alike, the main rule is not to slavishly follow rules. As Siebert notes: “The school of life arranges for great learning opportunities for people who react to difficulties by learning new skills.” We may not all have to cope with kidnappings, starvation, or torture, but we can certainly benefit from others’ experiences.

HOW TO BE A GREAT COMMUNICATOR
IN PERSON, ON PAPER, AND ON THE PODIUM
By Nido Qubein. John Wiley & Sons. 288 pp. $16.95.

Quoting everyone from Winnie-the-Pooh to Hitler, Nido Qubein’s How to Be a Great Communicator demonstrates how to succeed at business by really communicating. “By some estimates, 85 percent of your success in business depends on effective communication and interpersonal skills,” observes Qubein.

Communicator offers valuable common sense tips on what you need to know to speak succinctly and effectively, on the job or off. With straightforward examples and practical advice, the book discusses self-image, body language, listening skills, the difference in male-female communication, and how to create a dialogue with those around you. Whether you’re writing a speech, drafting a letter, or talking with your boss, Qubein insists it is essential to communicate through images that both inform and inspire.

Even more crucial: don’t think good communication depends on an exhaustive vocabulary or an intricate understanding of grammar. “People will sometimes go to great lengths to avoid usage that somebody has pronounced ‘ungrammatical,’” Qubein notes. “In the process, they forget the most important rule of communication: Make it clear and understandable.” And, he adds, they also neglect the best rule of thumb of all – communicate as though you were talking to Winnie-the-Pooh. “I am a bear of very little brain,” said Pooh, “and long words bother me.”

THE SECRET TO CONQUERING FEAR
By Mike Hernacki. Pelican. 112 pp. $7.95.

Mike Hernacki and Franklin Roosevelt have one thing in common: both agree that we have nothing to fear but fear itself. As president, Roosevelt used that catch phrase to help America recover from the Great Depression. As the author of The Secret to Conquering Fear, Hernacki offers similar advice on coping with the Big Fs: fear of failure, disappointment, and death.

Hernacki says fright can legitimately paralyze us but also underlines its frequent irrationality (Bob Hope, after 70 years performing, still faces stage fright before going on). The whys are stressed less than the whats; Secret doesn’t get into psycho-babble, offering a straightforward behavior modification program for overcoming anxiety.

The “secret” of the title is remarkably simple. Ask yourself, “If I weren’t afraid, what would I do next?” Then act as though you aren’t afraid. The “What’s next?” process may not remove fear from your life, but from the examples cited, it sounds like it can offer a way to operate in spite of it. And it can have great benefits. “When you conquer your fear,” Hernacki notes. “You become larger than the fear. The fear still exists, but somehow it’s less than you are.”